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Have you ever had the experience where your mind starts wandering, and it may start off small but before you know it, you’re thinking of all the big life questions and getting caught up in it? There is a word for this — existential dread — and it’s likely that we will all experience this […]

Coping with existential dread

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Have you ever had the experience where your mind starts wandering, and it may start off small but before you know it, you’re thinking of all the big life questions and getting caught up in it? There is a word for this — existential dread — and it’s likely that we will all experience this at least once in our lives.

We can start with defining it. Existential dread is the feeling of anxiety or hopelessness when we think about life. This may include overthinking all of life’s questions and meaning, the actions we take, if what we are doing matters, and so on. 

If you’re feeling like this, it’s likely you’re not the only one – and I promise you’re not alone. It can be easy to get trapped in the thought process of all these questions, especially given the current state of the world. However, staying stuck in this place can and will have negative impacts on your mental health, but there are ways that we can live with and cope with these feelings as they arise.

First and foremost, know when to put the phone and social media away. I’m not going to make the argument that ignorance is bliss and that it’s better not to know, because that simply isn’t the case. Knowledge is important, but it is equally as important to know when to stop doomscrolling because there is a fine line between being knowledgeable and consuming too much. With social media, we have access to so much information, but our brains aren’t equipped to process the amount being thrown at it. So when you notice you’ve been reading and scrolling for too long, or it’s starting to make you feel anxious, make the choice to put the phone away and direct your energy toward something else.

Try journaling. Journaling can be a great tool in understanding how you’re feeling. It can be a safe and unfiltered method of getting your thoughts out on paper. If you’re unsure where to start, you can find some prompts here.

Find joy where you can and make the choice to create it. We’re not going to be happy all the time and that’s OK, but we can create and look for joy, even in the moments when we’re struggling. If you were to think about it now, what brings you joy? If you can’t think of anything, that’s OK too, maybe start brainstorming ways you can create joy for yourself, and start implementing them throughout your day and week where you can.

Look for comfort. What’s comforting to you? For me, it’s putting on one of my favourite movies or shows, or listening to a record, always in a dark room with a light projector on. But it can really be anything — putting on some comforting clothes, hiding under a blanket, watching a movie, cuddling with your pet, really focusing on anything that brings you comfort.

Engage with community rather than staying isolated. When we are feeling higher levels of anxiety or hopelessness, it can feel almost second nature to isolate ourselves. And we may do this emotionally or physically, but this is when I would argue it’s more critical to find yourself in community. What does community look like to you? It can be friends, family, support groups, or joining a local group of people with similar interests. Alternatively, if it’s more accessible, online communities can be an excellent way to connect with people, especially finding those with similar interests or experiences as your own. 

Accept the emotions as they come rather than hiding from them. From a young age, we’re taught not to experience or show emotions that are seen as “negative,” like anger, sadness, anxiety — but instead, we should allow ourselves to feel all the emotions. If you feel rage, let yourself feel it instead of bottling it up. If you feel sad, let yourself feel sad. What’s important is displaying them and moving forward with them in ways that support you. 

I’m not going to tell you this feeling will go away or that any correct set of coping or grounding skills will ‘fix’ this feeling, because simply put, that would be a lie. There’s just too much that is going on during the day to day for this feeling to just disappear. But because we’re in it, it can be helpful to find moments and things that bring you joy and comfort. And it’s best to remember, you’re not in it alone.

If you want to connect and explore therapy, you can reach out at co*****@re*************.com. If you’re not quite ready for this step yet, you can find mindfulness resources here or worksheets here.

Authored by Dani Caruso, BSW

Our  team of online therapists in Ontario has been curated with individuals who are like you, human. We don’t have this whole life thing completely figured out and won’t pretend that we do. But we’re committed to doing the beautifully messy work that’s required to fully embrace the human experience. When you join us on this journey, we won't judge you for being who you are. 

Starting therapy can be scary. We don't expect you to immediately feel safe sharing the parts of yourself you’ve been afraid all your life for someone to see. It takes time to cultivate trust. But if you show up, we will too – fully.

It’s our hope that eventually you will come to see that we’re with you on each step you decide to take. Because we too are committed to relearning what it means to be human. 

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