Many people come to therapy looking for tools and techniques to manage their stress or to manage symptoms of burnout (sustained stress). I get it, stress is not the most comfortable thing to experience and most of us need help developing strategies to manage challenges and stress-points. 

Here are a few questions that can help you map out your stress:

When I am stressed, how does my body react? Racing mind, adrenaline, fast speech 

What happens to me when I feel stressed? I disconnect from others, my mind starts to race

What stories are in the mind about this stress? Other people wouldn’t be stressed, I’m not handling this well, other people don’t have it as hard as me 

How does feeling stressed impact my relationships? I isolate and can’t verbalize how I am feeling

What did I learn about stress growing up? Stress is bad, it should be avoided 

Therapeutic work in stress management techniques is holistic and begins with daily practices  accessing the pillars of health. This means, nourishing and moving the body, connecting with our community, mindful practices, resting and accessing sleep. Daily management can help prevent burnout and also support our awareness when stress or anxiety is not helping us.

When I teach daily stress-management, we speak of the following: 

1. Acceptance vs. resistance 

Accept that stress is your body’s normal response when it needs a little *umph* to get over and move through a challenge. Stress is not a bad thing, it’s a normal, human reaction to (perceived) pressure. Practice shifting your understanding when you feel that cortisol flowing through your body. Your body is helping you rise to the occasion, whether that occasion be sitting in traffic, answering an email, delivering a presentation or making dinner. Your body is not against you, it is trying to help, even if it doesn’t feel comfortable. 

2. Let it flow

Challenging situations should come, visit and they should go. If you are feeling “stressed” for a long period of time, then you may want to have a deeper look at what’s actually happening. If your thoughts are swirling around, are future focused, catastrophic or hinged on things out of your control, then you may want to shift your language and use “anxious” instead of “stress.” Rumination, or cyclical thinking, about stressful situations will create prolonged stress in your body, and if it goes unchecked, can lead to burnout. 

3. Stop identifying with being “stressed”

Whether you are talking about crossfit, being a parent, having an illness or being stressed, the more you align yourself with a concept, the more you will identify with it. Being “stressed” has become the new Prada bag. We identify as “stressed” as a signifier of our importance and almost a status symbol. 

4. Be more specific about what you feel 

Feeling “stressed” has become a catch all for many emotions. Take a minute when you hear yourself talking about your stress or catch yourself thinking about stress and deep dive. Is your body actually feeling stressed? Or are you feeling anger? Anxiety? Fear? Once you get crystal clear on what’s happening in your body, it will be easier to figure out how to help yourself. 

Whether it’s in the gym, at work or in therapy, learning new skills can require a little extra support. Check out ReLearning Human’s other blogs and start implementing the necessary tools to get the most out of your life. 

Authored by Annie Amirault, RSW & Co-Founder of ReLearning Human