No B.S. Exercises
Ever sit on the couch with your mind telling you the long list of things you *should* or *need* to do and you can’t seem to get up and actually do any of them? You sit there for minutes, hours or even days naming everything you need to do and judging that it’s not being done. You are anticipating how hard the task will be, criticizing yourself thinking that it’s easier for everyone else. You might even go through your day-to-day completing your tasks, but it takes every ounce of energy for you to get them done.
The longer you avoid a task, the harder your brain will believe it is and the less resources it will have to do the actual task.
Your mind has overwhelmed you to the point of poking at your sympathetic nervous system and BOOM you are frozen.
You have a good body, it is trying to help you survive when danger is present. You might be thinking, “But no danger is present!” If your nervous system is activated and you are frozen, it is because it has perceived a danger. Your brain is trying to logic you away from this reaction, and unfortunately, the animal just does not work that way.
You can start to thaw your freeze response by following these steps:
TALK TO YOUR BRAIN – say “Thanks brain but you aren’t being helpful right now.”
NAME WHAT’S HAPPENING – I feel frozen and that is OK, this a normal response, even if the fear is not logical.
HELP YOURSELF – The feeling of helplessness creeps in and we might start to notice apathy, some “why bothers” or “what’s the points” floating around in your mind.
START SLOW – Look at the corners of the room that you are in. Move your neck. It’s hard to stay stuck when you are in motion. Keep trying to note all the corners.
GET UP – Often we experience this functional freeze or freeze experience when our bodies are laying or sitting. Even though it might look like rest on the outside, the mind is jumping from thought to thought and feeling anything BUT peaceful. Even if it’s one foot on the ground, or bending your knees. Move your body.
CHANGE YOUR TEMPERATURE – Once you have successfully shifted that freeze response, splash cold water on your face, grab an ice cube and let it melt in your hand. If you are brave, go outside in the cold for a moment. Feel that change of temperature as it shifts you further out of freeze.
Managing the human system is not easy and we do often need more help with our practice. We are here when you need that extra bit of support. Reach out to co*****@re*************.com for other resources or to find a therapist that might be the right fit for you.
Authored by Annie Amirault RSW & Co-Founder of ReLearning Human
Everyday we are faced with stressful, anxious provoking situations and it’s easy to get in your head. ‘Grounding techniques’ offer a solution to the problem of the human mind that experiences 70,000-100,000 thoughts per day (ever wonder why you are tired, fatigued and overwhelmed by 5pm? – thats why!).
This technique can help you get through challenging (think stressful and anxiety producing) situations. When we are confronted with experiences that our brains perceive as difficult, impossible or even dangerous (yes, that email notification can feel dangerous), sometimes our bodies produce survival hormones that intend to be helpful but in reality make us physically and emotionally uncomfortable (read mental freak outs, anxiety spirals, outthinking and self sabotaging behaviors).
Using this technique will walk you through your five senses to help manage tough situations when they arise.
5 – LOOK: Look around for 5 things that you can see, and say them out loud. For example, you could say, I see the computer, I see the cup, I see the picture frame.
4 – FEEL: Pay attention to your body and think of 4 things that you can feel, and say them out loud. For example, you could say, I feel my feet warm in my socks, I feel the hair moving in the breeze.
3 – LISTEN: Listen for 3 sounds. It could be the sound of traffic outside, the sound of typing or the sound of your tummy rumbling.
2 – SMELL: Say two things you can smell. If you’re able to, it’s okay to move to another spot and sniff something. If you can’t smell anything at the moment or you can’t move, then name your 2 favorite smells.
1 – TASTE: Say one thing you can taste. It may be the toothpaste from brushing your teeth, or a mint from after lunch. If you can’t taste anything, then say your favorite thing to taste.
Need more help managing anxiety, overwhelm, stress or other human experiences? We are here, one email or click away.
Humans are not so different from computers. As humans, we are only able handle so much before we start to lag, short circuit, overheat and explode. Our bandwidth (pun intended) to manage information, experiences and stimulus depends on a number of factors including hormones, our sleep, weather, over-all health and nourishment, feelings of connection and many others.
One of the challenging things about being human is that we actually haven’t evolved that much AND we believe we are much more evolved than we are. Our nervous system is still wired to constantly be on the lookout for anything that might impact our ability to survive. Yes, I am referring to the email notification, text message or upcoming doctor’s appointment that has us in a mental frenzy.
What your mind perceives as dangerous is out of your control. What is within your control is how you respond when your brain jumps into survival mode. Being aware when your survival brain has taken over is a learned skill. Once you become aware of that, you can train your brain and body to cool down and respond instead of react.
One of the ways we can “restart” our system is by breathing. Slowing down and tuning in to our breathing signals to our parasympathetic system that we are safe, there is no danger and it can calm the f*** down. Use this breathing sphere to slow the pace of your breath and reset your system.
This is a fairly simple, yet challenging practice where we use our breath to get us out of our thoughts (because we all know they can be uber distressing sometimes) and back to the here and now.
Problem solving, planning, thinking are all necessary parts of being human AND when not used as an intentional skill (think pen and paper, collaboration or meeting with yourself) they can cause our anxiety and stress hormones to respond and rise to help us meet the challenge in front of us (and feel a bit wonky and off kilter).
I encourage you to focus on one component of breath. Pick your own or choose one of the following:
- The air moving in and out of your nose or mouth
- Your chest rising and falling
- Your Belly moving up and down
- Your lungs expanding and contracting
As you focus on that one component of breath, use your hand to trace your inhales and exhales. You don’t have to change or alter your breath at all, just notice each inhale and exhale, just breathing as you breathe. If you notice you have gotten caught up in thoughts or your mind has wandered off, that’s OK, you are human and we don’t judge being human. Just come back to the practice of tracing your breath with your hand.
Breathing isn’t cutting it? Don’t worry, we all need more support from time to time. At ReLearning Human, we provide online therapy to support you through the challenging and painful experiences of life while cultivating a deeper understanding of what it means to be human — and what it looks like to be human for YOU.
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