No B.S. Exercises

Ever feel like your mind is jumping ahead of your body? It happens so quickly; our brain gets hijacked by future worries. Thinking about what to cook for supper? Then when do I buy the groceries? should I go to the bank first, shit I have to cancel my dentist appointment, I really need to sort out my banking… we are soon spiraling downwards. Breathing more heavily, feeling tightness in our chest or a fogginess clouds our mind. For some of us, this is how our anxiety shows up.

When the thoughts jump out at us, we don’t always notice it right away and we sure get caught up in our anxiety, dysregulated and feel out of control. Because we are. This is until we can bring awareness to our anxiety (name it) and learn to regulate our nervous system. In this moment of awareness, we can come back to our breath. This is the magic of breathing, we have access to it all the time until we don’t, and it doesn’t require a tremendous amount of effort, just practice.

Here are three questions to help bring us back to the now:

1) Where am I?

2) What am I doing?

3) Who am I with?

In order to answer the first question, I have to completely stop. Breathe. Deep breaths and ask myself where am I? Firstly, this is to interrupt my mind from racing, being scared and to remind myself that my body is safe. Maybe at this point I have not entirely convinced my mind but I am present to my surroundings.

Secondly, what am I doing? Again, first I take a few deep breaths, asking myself what EXACTLY I am doing. I bring awareness to what my physical actions are, sometimes to the thoughts in my mind however at this point, not so important. At this moment I am bringing awareness to what I am doing. I am bringing myself back here. Also reminding myself that I am safe.

Who am I with? Am I alone, with someone else? Usually when I’m alone, I draw my attention to my body, most often rubbing my feet together or gently rubbing my arm or even my chin. If I have drifted off into my spiral and I am with someone, I do my best to bring my attention to the person’s eyes or some part of their face that draws my attention, and again, deep breaths and then reestablish connection with this person.

This practice has helped significantly when my mind is racing. It is not so easy, but with practice it can become a useful tool to bring you back to the present moment. With this practice it is also important to hold a space of kindness and non self judgment as you may be learning how to be present for the first time. So, it will take time for your brain to adjust to this newness.

If you would like some guided meditations to help with the practice of being present, coming back to the here & now, check out this link. If you feel you are ready to explore discussing your anxiety and learn other strategies in managing your anxiety with a therapist, check out our therapists’ bios here.

Authored by Kavita Patel, RSW, MSW, Registered Social Worker/Psychotherapist & Co-Founder of ReLearning Human

How you can come back to Here & Now

The Self

Everyday we are faced with stressful, anxious provoking situations and it’s easy to get in your head. ‘Grounding techniques’ offer a solution to the problem of the human mind that experiences 70,000-100,000 thoughts per day (ever wonder why you are tired, fatigued and overwhelmed by 5pm? – thats why!).

This technique can help you get through challenging (think stressful and anxiety producing) situations. When we are confronted with experiences that our brains perceive as difficult, impossible or even dangerous (yes, that email notification can feel dangerous), sometimes our bodies produce survival hormones that intend to be helpful but in reality make us physically and emotionally uncomfortable (read mental freak outs, anxiety spirals, outthinking and self sabotaging behaviors).

Using this technique will walk you through your five senses to help manage tough situations when they arise.

5 – LOOK: Look around for 5 things that you can see, and say them out loud. For example, you could say, I see the computer, I see the cup, I see the picture frame.

4 – FEEL: Pay attention to your body and think of 4 things that you can feel, and say them out loud. For example, you could say, I feel my feet warm in my socks, I feel the hair moving in the breeze.

3 – LISTEN: Listen for 3 sounds. It could be the sound of traffic outside, the sound of typing or the sound of your tummy rumbling.

2 – SMELL: Say two things you can smell. If you’re able to, it’s okay to move to another spot and sniff something. If you can’t smell anything at the moment or you can’t move, then name your 2 favorite smells.

1 – TASTE: Say one thing you can taste. It may be the toothpaste from brushing your teeth, or a mint from after lunch. If you can’t taste anything, then say your favorite thing to taste.

Need more help managing anxiety, overwhelm, stress or other human experiences? We are here, one email or click away.

Feeling Crazy? Learn how to tame your brain

No B.S. Exercises

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom” – Viktor Frankl.

Your phone dings and you immediately check for a message while eating dinner with your family

You walk by a bakery and start salivating and tears come to your eyes before your brain clues into your memories of freshly baked bread

You see crumbs on the floor and become angry at your roommates (is that just me?)

An email comes through and you immediately start thinking “it’s my day off, why are they emailing”

As humans we are constantly observing and reacting to stimulus (sights, sounds, emotions, thoughts). When we are moving about life in a reactive state, there isn’t time or space for our logical mind to kick in. Reading this you might think “well, I’m pretty logical and self-aware, I don’t need therapy”. Think again.

If you sometimes:

Avoid conflict or shut down and retreat in conflict
Feel defensive and criticized with feedback
Blame other people or situations for your problems
Have blow up fights (including hypothetical fights in your mind)
Replay conversations in your mind and overthink
Feel blindsided or surprised by other peoples actions

You might not be as aware as you think and that’s OK. Very few people are intrinsically self aware (I’ve never met someone who is). You can practice self-awareness and see great changes through this simple practice.

Stop what you are doing

When you feel yourself reacting – stop. Freeze. Say something like “I’m reacting” or “I’m reactive” (if you’re a nerd like me you can say “My amygdala has taken over”).

Take a breath – get our of your mind and into your body

Tune into your body and create intentionality around your breathing. Notice how your lungs expand and contract with every breath you take. Slow everything down. If your mind is racing, keep breathing and focusing on your breath until it starts to slow.

Label what’s going on (this is the hardest part because we don’t like to feel those damn emotions)

I feel angry, I feel anxious, I feel upset, I feel overwhelmed, I feel some kind of way

Problem solve

This will look different for everyone. For me it includes breathing, prioritizing, asking for help, taking a break (2 mins), letting go of tasks, journaling, emailing my therapist in a panic, feeling through the emotion.

Everyone’s process and problem solving will look different because we are all wired differently. What works for you might be detrimental for someone else. It’s important that you find a plan that works for you. Explore ReLearning Humans No B.S. Resources and team members anytime. You don’t have to do this alone, we are here to support when you are ready.

Moving from reaction to response

No B.S. Exercises

Humans are not so different from computers. As humans, we are only able handle so much before we start to lag, short circuit, overheat and explode. Our bandwidth (pun intended) to manage information, experiences and stimulus depends on a number of factors including hormones, our sleep, weather, over-all health and nourishment, feelings of connection and many others.

One of the challenging things about being human is that we actually haven’t evolved that much AND we believe we are much more evolved than we are. Our nervous system is still wired to constantly be on the lookout for anything that might impact our ability to survive. Yes, I am referring to the email notification, text message or upcoming doctor’s appointment that has us in a mental frenzy.

What your mind perceives as dangerous is out of your control. What is within your control is how you respond when your brain jumps into survival mode. Being aware when your survival brain has taken over is a learned skill. Once you become aware of that, you can train your brain and body to cool down and respond instead of react.

One of the ways we can “restart” our system is by breathing. Slowing down and tuning in to our breathing signals to our parasympathetic system that we are safe, there is no danger and it can calm the f*** down. Use this breathing sphere to slow the pace of your breath and reset your system.

Brain Reset: Calm Your Nervous System with Breathing

No B.S. Exercises

This is a fairly simple, yet challenging practice where we use our breath to get us out of our thoughts (because we all know they can be uber distressing sometimes) and back to the here and now.

Problem solving, planning, thinking are all necessary parts of being human AND when not used as an intentional skill (think pen and paper, collaboration or meeting with yourself) they can cause our anxiety and stress hormones to respond and rise to help us meet the challenge in front of us (and feel a bit wonky and off kilter).

I encourage you to focus on one component of breath. Pick your own or choose one of the following:

The air moving in and out of your nose or mouth
Your chest rising and falling
Your Belly moving up and down
Your lungs expanding and contracting

As you focus on that one component of breath, use your hand to trace your inhales and exhales. You don’t have to change or alter your breath at all, just notice each inhale and exhale, just breathing as you breathe. If you notice you have gotten caught up in thoughts or your mind has wandered off, that’s OK, you are human and we don’t judge being human. Just come back to the practice of tracing your breath with your hand.

Breathing isn’t cutting it? Don’t worry, we all need more support from time to time. At ReLearning Human, we provide online therapy to support you through the challenging and painful experiences of life while cultivating a deeper understanding of what it means to be human — and what it looks like to be human for YOU.

Book a meet and greet here to get started.

Overwhelmed? This might help

No B.S. Exercises

RELEARNING
HUMAN

Do the work

partners in care

No B.S. Exercises

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom” – Viktor Frankl.

RELEARNING
HUMAN

Do the work

RELEARNINGHUMAN

Do the work

partners in care

No B.S. Exercises

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom” – Viktor Frankl.

RELEARNINGHUMAN

Do the work

RELEARNING
HUMAN

RELEARNING
HUMAN