The Relearning Blog

As an addict (smoking) in recovery, I spent a lot of time outside watching massive Toronto squirrels. Moving from the East Coast, I had never seen anything like them before. They are twitchy, resourceful and fast. Because they have to be. Just like us, they are living in a world as both predator and prey. […]

Perfect doesn’t exist — it can be a painful sentence to hear and I’m sorry if it seems harsh, but it’s true. It can be especially difficult to come to terms with when it feels like we’ve been wired to be perfect all of the time. I get it, I really do, but it’s exhausting, […]

Self-talk is a normal process that we all participate in daily, we all have an inner voice, and for some of us, that voice is an asshole. When we go with our automatic, reactive thoughts without recognizing and challenging them, it has implications that affect our emotions, motivation, resiliency and future accomplishments. Problems around self-esteem […]

Did the title make you feel uncomfortable, or did it intrigue you? Or both? Your initial reaction might be linked to your learnings and experiences around the act of sex, sexuality and sensuality. What do you think about sex? Do you enjoy sex? Are you able to talk openly about sex and your sexual experiences? […]

Are you a people pleaser? See if you identify with one or more of the following. If you can identify with one or more of these, don’t worry you are not alone. People pleasing is a common practice. Why are we people pleasing? The short answer, to meet our basic human need to feel a […]

What is dissociation? On the most basic human level, disassociation is the process in which we separate and detach from our sense of reality – our thoughts, emotions, body sensations and identity. This experience can manifest in many ways and might include: Gaps in memory and memory loss Seeing yourself as separate and/or detached from […]

I see you there in the dark place, sitting alone. The silence is so loud, it’s deafening. Judgements of ourselves swirl around us, we are haunted by past versions of ourselves and taunted by predictions of the future.  Everything is heavy here. Everything is scary. The air is a thick fog of shame that weighs […]

Ever wonder why you decided to get married or why you want to get married? I wonder how many of us ask ourselves these questions? What I’ve come to learn as a couples’ therapist is, it is often our fundamental belief system (our values and conditioning) that are different, and this is OK. What doesn’t […]

In the book I’m reading (Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J. Maas), a main character says as they are about to engage in war:  “…and you will likely throw up again. But just remember that this fear of yours? It means you have something worth fighting for – something you care so greatly for that […]

Many of my clients share their challenges around falling asleep or staying asleep throughout the night. Especially during this time of year. When further explored, it’s quite clear that one of the challenges around sleep is that we are in fact trying to force ourselves to sleep! We know the drill. Twist and turn, get […]