The Relearning Blog

Playing hide and seek has always been a favorite of mine as a child and even now in my 40’s and sooooo what? Watching my nephews and niece laugh with excitement and joy is priceless. We don’t play anymore as adults, do we? The world has weighed us down and most of us have lost our childlike innocence. We are often afraid of what others will think if we are rolling around in the park with our children or sliding down the slide without any children (OK fine, questionable) or skipping down the street!

This is not just about getting back to your inner child; however, playing has a significant impact on our mental health. For the better and here’s how:

Play can reduce our stress. When we engage in play we naturally shift our focus to something. Yes, just like that! This helps us even for a few moments to feel less stressed. Our body also releases endorphins (the feel good hormone) so we feel good. This can help us to manage our symptoms of anxiety and depression.

We won! Winning a challenge or learning a new skill can help enhance our self-esteem and confidence contributing to a healthier view of self.

Our ability to adapt: When we are engaging in play, it entails trial and error. If the stakes aren’t that high we can sometimes feel more at ease with setbacks and losses. Adapting and managing low level stress can be helpful in managing stress when the stakes are in fact higher. So losing in a game of scrabble can be helpful! You’ve allowed yourself an opportunity to learn how to manage your stress (good on you!).

Learn to build connections: We are social beings and engaging in social activities not only breaks us out of our isolation, it can help enhance and build stronger relationships. When we participate in play, specifically in team activities, we are learning how to work together, deepen bonds and work through conflict when the opportunity arises.

Stimulating your brain: As we age we actively need to work on keeping our mind sharp (remember, our brain is a muscle. If we don’t use it, we lose it). Engaging in activities such as word puzzles or strategy games can help with our attention, memory and problem solving skills.

Are you feeling playful? If you are but don’t know how, here are some ways you can introduce play into your life:

Be spontaneous. If you feel like playing, being a little silly, then go ahead. Play. If something stops you from acting out on this desire, you can check in with yourself. What’s stopping you? Is it enough to stop you from having a little bit of fun? 

You have the option of scheduling in play. We schedule everything in our day-to-day lives, so go ahead and schedule in some playtime. 

If you have forgotten how to have a little bit of playful fun you can also try to learn a new hobby, try a different activity and asking google is always an option. You can also try this worksheet https://static.showit.co/file/bsyLudH7O2-UxYvcGS73ww/182439/play_worksheet.pdf to support you getting started in your playful journey AND if you wish to experience the joys of play and incorporate it into your life right now, first put down your device and get out. Go on, take care of your mental health, have some fun and PLAY! 

Authored by Kavita Patel RSW, MSW, psychotherapist & Co-Founder of ReLearning Human.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom” – Viktor Frankl.

Your phone dings and you immediately check for a message while eating dinner with your family

You walk by a bakery and start salivating and tears come to your eyes before your brain clues into your memories of freshly baked bread 

You see crumbs on the floor and become angry at your roommates (is that just me?)

An email comes through and you immediately start thinking “it’s my day off, why are they emailing”  

As humans we are constantly observing and reacting to stimulus (sights, sounds, emotions, thoughts). When we are moving about life in a reactive state, there isn’t time or space for our logical mind to kick in. Reading this you might think “well, I’m pretty logical and self-aware, I don’t need therapy”.  Think again. 

If you sometimes:

• Avoid conflict or shut down and retreat in conflict 
• Feel defensive and criticized with feedback 
• Blame other people or situations for your problems 
• Have blow up fights (including hypothetical fights in your mind)
• Replay conversations in your mind and overthink
• Feel blindsided or surprised by other peoples actions 

You might not be as aware as you think and that’s OK. Very few people are intrinsically self aware (I’ve never met someone who is). You can practice self-awareness and see great changes  through this simple practice. 

Stop what you are doing 

• When you feel yourself reacting – stop. Freeze. Say something like “I’m reacting” or “I’m reactive” (if you’re a nerd like me you can say “My amygdala has taken over”).

Take a breath – get our of your mind and into your body

• Tune into your body and create intentionality around your breathing. Notice how your lungs expand and contract with every breath you take. Slow everything down. If your mind is racing, keep breathing and focusing on your breath until it starts to slow. 

Label what’s going on (this is the hardest part because we don’t like to feel those damn emotions) 

• I feel angry, I feel anxious, I feel upset, I feel overwhelmed, I feel some kind of way 

Problem solve

This will look different for everyone. For me it includes breathing, prioritizing, asking for help, taking a break (2 mins), letting go of tasks, journaling, emailing my therapist in a panic, feeling through the emotion. 

Everyone’s process and problem solving will look different because we are all wired differently. What works for you might be detrimental for someone else. It’s important that you find a plan that works for you. Explore ReLearning Humans No B.S. Resources and team members anytime. You don’t have to do this alone, we are here to support when you are ready.