A dedicated space to support your journey of relearning who you are and how you are wired

The Relearning Blog

The world of psychotherapy has expanded expediently in the past couple of years with emerging new therapists and their private practices. Addressing mental health and ensuring that there are sufficient resources available for the public is crucial. However there remains question and concern of therapists and their practice or lack thereof with boundary setting. What am I basing this on? I have had clients share their experiences of previous therapists disclosing their own personal challenges in sessions. Some therapists crying longer and louder and clients leave their sessions feeling like they need to hold space for their therapist rather than the other way around. It does happen, it is happening and can be an incredibly harmful experience for clients. It is necessary to explore, discuss and understand the importance of boundary setting between a therapist and their client. It appears as to what may have been an obvious practice in the therapy world once upon a time may not be the case today.

Boundaries are important in creating a secure, safe and healthy client-therapist relationship. They are crucial for establishing a professional and ethical space in which therapy can take place. Only with strong boundaries we allow clients to be vulnerable and able to explore their thoughts, feelings and experiences without fearing judgment. These are the building blocks of a true therapeutic relationship.

It is the therapist’s responsibility to create the boundaries.

To give you an example the following are what boundaries may look like

Confidentiality: Your therapist’s role is to uphold strict confidentiality to protect your privacy. They are not to disclose any personal information about their clients and sessions without consent. There is an exception to this rule when there are specific legal or ethical situations where a disclosure is mandated (i.e. – harm to self or others).

Emotional boundaries: Your therapist can empathise, nurture, support and co create a secure attachment with you without becoming personally involved or emotionally dependent. The balance between being supportive and maintaining objectivity is key.

Physical boundaries: Your therapist respects your physical space, asks if physical touch is ok (i.e.- hand on knee for comfort or a reach to touch your arm, handshake, hug or even touch during a guided/relaxation meditation). When appropriate and foremost consensual, this can support the therapeutic process. However physical contact is generally limited in a therapy session.

Financial: Your therapist has provided you with transparent information around the fees, cancellation and late fee policy. Your therapist might be understanding of a one off event with late payment or last-minute cancellation (hey life happens right) but appropriately addresses this with you if it starts to become a pattern.

You have a right to a boundaried therapist

Ideally, your therapist should be receiving training and supervision to ensure they uphold these boundaries effectively throughout their practice. You have a right to a boundaried therapist so your mental health and therapy journey can feel safe, secure and fully supported. If this is your first time in therapy or your tenth time giving it a go, you are allowing yourself the opportunity to learn and experience a healthy, caring, supportive and boundary-ed relationship. This learning can sometimes feel like your new blueprint for relationships. It can extend into other relationships and model what healthy boundaries can look like, and more importantly, feel like. By addressing boundary issues directly, you can ensure that your therapy journey is supportive of your mental health goals.

Some tips for you if your therapist is unboundaried

Think it over: Reflect on the event or therapist behaviours that concerns you. Has there been a violation, inappropriate or discomfort with therapists’ personal disclosures, etc.? What is your gut feeling?

Talk it out: You can discuss your concerns directly with your therapist. Although this may feel daunting, it is important to express how you perceive the boundary issue and what you are uncomfortable with. You can do this calmly and respectfully.

Clarity: This may be a misunderstanding. Seeking clarification from your therapist about their boundaries, the therapeutic frame and their approach will help if there has been a misstep in communication, etc.

The response: A professional therapist will be open to discussing your concerns and any issues that arise. They will take your concerns seriously and work towards repairing any injury within the therapeutic relationship and in rebuilding the professional relationship.

Reporting ethical concerns: If you feel that there are ethical violations you may consider reporting them to their licensing board or professional association. These organizations have support in place to address ethical complaints and ensure accountability.

Don’t give up hope! Seek out another therapist: It would be discerning and may dissuade you from seeking out another therapist. Please don’t give up and continue to prioritize your mental health and well being by seeking out support from another therapist.

Therapists are human too, we have feelings, common lived experiences with our clients often mirroring our own fears, judgments, shame, joy, excitement, happiness, etc. However, there is a power imbalance between client and therapist leaving no room and opportunity to become friends. Setting boundaries with clients means we are conducting ourselves in a professional and ethical manner, protecting our clients interests and establishing trust. Boundaries also help in preventing dependence which allows clients to feel empowered, grow and develop skills to live healthier lives.

If you are searching for a safe space in therapy, you can find an ethically sound and boundaried therapist at Relearning Human. Connect with us @relearninghuman.com

Authored: Kavita Patel RSW and co-founder of ReLearning Human

Your therapist is not your friend. Why boundaries are important in a client-therapist relationship.

Relationships

Everyday we are faced with stressful, anxious provoking situations and it’s easy to get in your head. ‘Grounding techniques’ offer a solution to the problem of the human mind that experiences 70,000-100,000 thoughts per day (ever wonder why you are tired, fatigued and overwhelmed by 5pm? – thats why!).

This technique can help you get through challenging (think stressful and anxiety producing) situations. When we are confronted with experiences that our brains perceive as difficult, impossible or even dangerous (yes, that email notification can feel dangerous), sometimes our bodies produce survival hormones that intend to be helpful but in reality make us physically and emotionally uncomfortable (read mental freak outs, anxiety spirals, outthinking and self sabotaging behaviors).

Using this technique will walk you through your five senses to help manage tough situations when they arise.

5 – LOOK: Look around for 5 things that you can see, and say them out loud. For example, you could say, I see the computer, I see the cup, I see the picture frame.

4 – FEEL: Pay attention to your body and think of 4 things that you can feel, and say them out loud. For example, you could say, I feel my feet warm in my socks, I feel the hair moving in the breeze.

3 – LISTEN: Listen for 3 sounds. It could be the sound of traffic outside, the sound of typing or the sound of your tummy rumbling.

2 – SMELL: Say two things you can smell. If you’re able to, it’s okay to move to another spot and sniff something. If you can’t smell anything at the moment or you can’t move, then name your 2 favorite smells.

1 – TASTE: Say one thing you can taste. It may be the toothpaste from brushing your teeth, or a mint from after lunch. If you can’t taste anything, then say your favorite thing to taste.

Need more help managing anxiety, overwhelm, stress or other human experiences? We are here, one email or click away.

Feeling Crazy? Learn how to tame your brain

No B.S. Exercises

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom” – Viktor Frankl.

Your phone dings and you immediately check for a message while eating dinner with your family

You walk by a bakery and start salivating and tears come to your eyes before your brain clues into your memories of freshly baked bread

You see crumbs on the floor and become angry at your roommates (is that just me?)

An email comes through and you immediately start thinking “it’s my day off, why are they emailing”

As humans we are constantly observing and reacting to stimulus (sights, sounds, emotions, thoughts). When we are moving about life in a reactive state, there isn’t time or space for our logical mind to kick in. Reading this you might think “well, I’m pretty logical and self-aware, I don’t need therapy”. Think again.

If you sometimes:

Avoid conflict or shut down and retreat in conflict
Feel defensive and criticized with feedback
Blame other people or situations for your problems
Have blow up fights (including hypothetical fights in your mind)
Replay conversations in your mind and overthink
Feel blindsided or surprised by other peoples actions

You might not be as aware as you think and that’s OK. Very few people are intrinsically self aware (I’ve never met someone who is). You can practice self-awareness and see great changes through this simple practice.

Stop what you are doing

When you feel yourself reacting – stop. Freeze. Say something like “I’m reacting” or “I’m reactive” (if you’re a nerd like me you can say “My amygdala has taken over”).

Take a breath – get our of your mind and into your body

Tune into your body and create intentionality around your breathing. Notice how your lungs expand and contract with every breath you take. Slow everything down. If your mind is racing, keep breathing and focusing on your breath until it starts to slow.

Label what’s going on (this is the hardest part because we don’t like to feel those damn emotions)

I feel angry, I feel anxious, I feel upset, I feel overwhelmed, I feel some kind of way

Problem solve

This will look different for everyone. For me it includes breathing, prioritizing, asking for help, taking a break (2 mins), letting go of tasks, journaling, emailing my therapist in a panic, feeling through the emotion.

Everyone’s process and problem solving will look different because we are all wired differently. What works for you might be detrimental for someone else. It’s important that you find a plan that works for you. Explore ReLearning Humans No B.S. Resources and team members anytime. You don’t have to do this alone, we are here to support when you are ready.

Moving from reaction to response

No B.S. Exercises

Shame is an uncomfortable emotion that we often avoid feeling. Feeling shame does not mean you are a bad person, it means you are human. The discomfort and fear of feeling shame can activate certain behaviors. Shame can look like:

Wanting to hide/hiding
Rigidly believe that we are ‘good’ or bad’
Being attracted to folks who are emotionally unavailable
Avoiding certain tasks, people and situations
Not asking for what you want or need
Not speaking up and/or ruminating about things you would have said
Doing what you think other people want you to do
“Go with the flow” even though you have preferences
Reacting in anger
Negative self-talk and self-blame
Blaming ourselves when things don’t work out

Because humans are hard-wired with shame, we can’t necessarily ‘get rid of it’ and we can learn to recognize and manage it when it gets in the way of us living the life we want to live.

My story of shame starts with an anxious and fearful parent who did their very best to ensure that I was set up for their definition of success. This looked like controlling my normal, developmentally appropriate, child-like behaviors with, you guessed it, shame. Since childhood, I spent much of my life fighting against all the “shoulds” and expectations of others. I would try on the expectations of others, what other people wanted from me and it was like a vice squeezing me but I didn’t break (or maybe I did). It seemed to me that everyone got the manual on how and who to be and I was the only one who didn’t “get it.” I thought that no one would love me unless I fit into this box that everyone else seemingly fit into.

I could go on about my shame story but I can’t change the past. Let’s skip to the present, the process of ReLearning.

Over time and lots of therapy, I have come to understand that my thoughts and behaviors kept me little, unseen and safe. I learned that I cannot control others’ thoughts, actions, or their feeling towards me. I can, however, become aware of how these pieces impact me, how these old wounds may become raw again when pressed and how I can best help myself when I feel anxious, angry, scared, and human. Getting to know your personal story of shame and how it is impacting your life and relationships is one of the most powerful tools learned in therapy. Shame is a powerhouse emotion. The humans at ReLearning Human are experts in shame and shame management. If you want to work on how you show up as a human when you feel shame, we are here to support. Kavita and I created ReLearning Human to provide a space for you to explore your own human experience, whatever that looks like for you.

– Annie, Co-Founder of ReLearning Human

ReLearning Shame

The Exposed Therapist

Humans are not so different from computers. As humans, we are only able handle so much before we start to lag, short circuit, overheat and explode. Our bandwidth (pun intended) to manage information, experiences and stimulus depends on a number of factors including hormones, our sleep, weather, over-all health and nourishment, feelings of connection and many others.

One of the challenging things about being human is that we actually haven’t evolved that much AND we believe we are much more evolved than we are. Our nervous system is still wired to constantly be on the lookout for anything that might impact our ability to survive. Yes, I am referring to the email notification, text message or upcoming doctor’s appointment that has us in a mental frenzy.

What your mind perceives as dangerous is out of your control. What is within your control is how you respond when your brain jumps into survival mode. Being aware when your survival brain has taken over is a learned skill. Once you become aware of that, you can train your brain and body to cool down and respond instead of react.

One of the ways we can “restart” our system is by breathing. Slowing down and tuning in to our breathing signals to our parasympathetic system that we are safe, there is no danger and it can calm the f*** down. Use this breathing sphere to slow the pace of your breath and reset your system.

Brain Reset: Calm Your Nervous System with Breathing

No B.S. Exercises

This is a fairly simple, yet challenging practice where we use our breath to get us out of our thoughts (because we all know they can be uber distressing sometimes) and back to the here and now.

Problem solving, planning, thinking are all necessary parts of being human AND when not used as an intentional skill (think pen and paper, collaboration or meeting with yourself) they can cause our anxiety and stress hormones to respond and rise to help us meet the challenge in front of us (and feel a bit wonky and off kilter).

I encourage you to focus on one component of breath. Pick your own or choose one of the following:

The air moving in and out of your nose or mouth
Your chest rising and falling
Your Belly moving up and down
Your lungs expanding and contracting

As you focus on that one component of breath, use your hand to trace your inhales and exhales. You don’t have to change or alter your breath at all, just notice each inhale and exhale, just breathing as you breathe. If you notice you have gotten caught up in thoughts or your mind has wandered off, that’s OK, you are human and we don’t judge being human. Just come back to the practice of tracing your breath with your hand.

Breathing isn’t cutting it? Don’t worry, we all need more support from time to time. At ReLearning Human, we provide online therapy to support you through the challenging and painful experiences of life while cultivating a deeper understanding of what it means to be human — and what it looks like to be human for YOU.

Book a meet and greet here to get started.

Overwhelmed? This might help

No B.S. Exercises

I decided to write on this particular topic as I have recently experienced the greatest loss of my life. I am grieving the loss of my sister. My person. She transitioned in December 2022. She fought Leukemia (AML) and lung GVHD (graft vs host disease she developed in her lungs from her stem cell transplant). If I were to write she lost her battle to cancer, I’m pretty sure she would deliver me a cosmic pinch on my arm.

As a mental health practitioner and may I remind myself and you, a human first, we are so often challenged with having (yes, the “I should” because I am a therapist) to practice “healthy” coping, implementing self care techniques and “doing the work” as I often share with my clients. However, as a human, when you are faced with these human challenges, all this shit often goes out the window. Sometimes in order to merely survive we dive headfirst into isolation, numbing and avoidance, anything to prevent feeling the unsurmountable pain, both physical and emotional.

Here are some of the ways I am experiencing and navigating with my grief and loss. Some of these reminders and choices may also help you navigate yours. Is it possible to cope and continue to live with and through your grief & loss.

Some of the things you may experience after the loss of your loved one:

Fatigue

Overwhelm with all the “feels”

Grief fog

Loss of appetite or increase in appetite.

Inability to be around people (those you love, maybe?)

Difficulty sleeping

Anxiety

Depression (extreme sadness)

Isolating yourself

Consuming yourself with your lost loved one

This is not an exhaustive list of the symptoms you may experience. All the symptoms you experience are normal after losing someone you love.

When you are ready to heal and take steps forward in healing, these are some tips that may help you: No one knows the best way to heal but you!

Grieve in your own way. That is the only way.

I talk to my sister and hear her what her response would be and feel her presence. I incorporate her into my life in any which way I can (yesterday I made Shepards pie. It’s not my favorite but it is hers). And it’s ok. However, it feels isolating and most days I feel a little, a lot crazy.

I am learning to accept that no two people will grieve the same way. Sometimes it’s easy to feel guilty, angry and isolated when you don’t grieve in a certain way or the way people around you, or the world wants you to grieve. Let go of the guilt when you are ready, it will not help you heal and allow yourself permission to grieve exactly the way you need to in the moment. It’s ok.

Self care. Even when you’d rather not.

Grief engulfs every aspect of your life, it is a full body and mind experience and can be entirely debilitating and so confusing. The last thing I wanted (want to do some days) is get out of bed, exercise, at times I did not want to allow myself any opportunity to experience joy and moments of happiness. Guilt can be very loud sometimes, and you wonder why and what’s the point of taking care of myself? And you do it anyway. Only you know what your capacity is, what you can and can not handle.

Here are some of the ways that I have been able to take care of myself. You may be able to resonate with some and try:

Spending lots of time in nature

Going to the lake at my sister’s (your loved ones) favorite spot (if possible, of course)

Exercising (this means movement of body)

Nourishing my body with healthy meals and drinking lots of water

Breathwork, Somatic exercises (this may not feel safe for everyone) Meditation.

Painting, cross stitch

Therapy

Journalling

Working less (saying ‘No’)

Zoning out, into my grief binge watching television (yes this is ok)

Practicing non-judgment and self compassion when I turn to alcohol or substances to numb the pain.

Reaching out for support from those who know what’s up.

The exact dates and time frame is unclear however not long after my sister transitioned, I joined the Princess Margaret Hospital support group for bereaved family members at Wellspring. It was the start of feeling less isolated and enabled me to understand and fully accept that not everyone grieves the same. There were family members with unresolved anger towards their loved ones, denial (I was in this group) and still with courage and vulnerability we were able to share, feel seen and heard in the most difficult time. Along with the support group I continued with my individual therapy sessions with my therapist (yes, every therapist should have a therapist!) and have had many conversations and continue to do so with those that have also lost loved ones. There is a comfort and ease when you know they get it. You don’t have to say much at all, and this means everything.

Surround yourself with people you love and love you. When you want to.

It’s not always easy to do. Most often being around people you love and creating new memories is a bittersweet and sometimes a painful experience, a reminder that your loved one is not here anymore. So, surround yourself with people you love when you want to because although your loved one is not here in physical form, there are others around who do love you and love for you to be around in any emotional state you’re in. Just as you are. Shifting your mind to what you still have and to want to create for your life and future is necessary in your healing journey.

Keeping memories alive and celebrating the life of your loved one

I think I’ve made it somewhat of a mission of mine to ensure that my sister is remembered and celebrated. We had a weeklong celebration for her where we released her ashes on her birthday in Jamaica as per her wishes. We are fortunate that we were able to grant her this wish. I have built strong connections with some of her dearest friends, and they share their memories of my sister. Together we are keeping her memory alive through the tears and the laughter. There are photos of her in my home, some of her belongings that are the dearest to me and my family. Her clothes are still in her closet at my parents home. Periodically we step in and smell her clothes. Talk to her in her childhood bedroom and feel maybe a little closer to her. Beautiful paintings that she painted during her last two years on earth are placed all over the home. She is remembered, missed, loved and celebrated every day.

You can keep memories of your loved ones alive. Creating an album, memory journal, recordings of your thoughts are some other ways you can do this for yourself and share with family and friends if it feels right for you.

Leaning into your faith and spiritual beliefs

I am a Buddhist by practice and what I mean by that is I chant/pray and create clear determinations daily for my life, the one I wish to create for myself. It is also the time (well one of many times throughout the day) in which I connect and feel closer to my loved ones that have transitioned. It is when I have conversations with my sister and wish her love and light in her continued journey. It’s what allows me to have hope in my healing journey and connectivity to all things within me and around me. It is my grounding. My anchor.

If you have religious or spiritual belief lean into this part of you for support and guidance through your grief and your healing.

Trust in time

My clients hear me say this, A LOT. Trust in timing or to be more accurate, “I trust in timing”. Time does heal. Maybe not entirely heal but what I am experiencing is that there are moments when the grief feels lighter and a little more manageable. I haven’t experienced this consistently though. Grief is not linear, sometimes we feel like we are doing quite well and managing and then the next moment, day or week we are feeling the intense loss and fall into the depths of our sadness all over again. I wake up some days with the thought of, “is this true?”, “Oh no she’s really not here”. With time however, these periods in between feel more spread out.

Take time to heal, do not rush your process and be kind and gentle with yourself. You can do this and you are not alone. Your brain is trying to make sense of a new reality without your loved one in it the way they used to be. You are relearning to live essentially with loss, building a new life around your grief, hence time is an essential component in your process.

Try to take good care of yourself (when you can) & Breathe.

This blog is dedicated to my sister & soulmate Janki Patel. Her last words in her eulogy she left for us…

You are strong. You are brave. You are loved. And you are enough just the way you are. All is well. Until we meet again.

Authored: Kavita Patel Co-founder of Relearning Human

For support, connect with our Relearning Human therapists.

Grief: Navigating Loss When Your Mind Feels Fucked

The Exposed Therapist

Feel it through. Harnessing, trusting and using your intuition to create the life you want.

Intuition: a natural ability or power that makes it possible to know something without any proof or evidence: a feeling that guides a person to act a certain way without fully understanding why- Britannica Dictionary

We understand this from a cognitive perspective however there are very few of us who practice following our intuition. Other terms you may be familiar with, “sixth sense, gut feeling or neuroception” coined by Dr. Stephen Porges. Most of us humans are conditioned to use our intellect and cognitive thought processes rather than tapping into our intuition.

The past few years, I have had many clients speak openly and courageously about their “gut feelings”, their “Spidey senses” and how, if they just paid more attention, listened and trusted they would have made better decisions for themselves. My response is often the same, “You needed your rational brain to protect yourself from whatever fear you thought the outcome would be, the outcome that you most likely would not be able to manage at that time. You need time to experience, to grow your courage, strength and to trust your person to get to this place. Now when you feel that gut feeling, you may be ready to listen to it. Ready to do the thing that you did not want to do because you will have to feel what you do not want to feel”. Followed by, “feel it through”. Most often this is responded with a scoff, or a look of disbelief and maybe even some nervous laughter.

We all want the answers, right?! The calculated decisions with the guarantee that the decision is the “right” decision the “right” outcome and…it needs to make sense. And the truth is we can’t make sense of our intuition. What I also share with my clients full heartedly believing and knowing this, “you know yourself best, follow your intuition, it is the one thing that never lets you down”.

All of us have experienced that feeling, the feeling in the pit of our stomach telling us what we need to do, sometimes yelling at us. Our deeper knowing that we cannot make sense of but follow it anyway, well not all the time. So why is following our intuition worth a try? How can we learn to tune into our deeper gut instincts? How can we train ourselves to develop these senses further and how can we use our intuition to grow and expand every aspect of our life?

Why is following our intuition so important?

This gut feeling has helped us survive since our primitive years and has nothing to do with how smart we are or our level of education. Some may refer to it as the process of quickly deducting information built on experiences, connections, patterns however intuition is not a cognitive experience. It is an emotional, intuitive experience. These hunches give us clarity and help us make the best decisions for our lives. The challenge is not allowing outside pressures or influences to intercept this guidance. When we don’t follow our intuition more problems are likely to arise in the future, again not so easy to do as we are often preoccupied with what others think about our life decisions, listening to what others say we “should do” or how stupid would we look if we made decisions following our gut or heart and not our head.

How can you tune into your intuition?

It’s always been there. It can take some time to tap into if you haven’t become familiar with it yet or if you have chosen to ignore it and now decided otherwise. As humans, we are influenced and highly impressionable by our external environment (social media, structure of educational systems, news, etc.) and slightly closer to us, our caregivers, family, culture, religion, faith, etc., all of which create our view of the world and how we learn to view ourselves. We learn from a very early age to listen to elders, authority figures, follow or be forced to submit to a system, a certain kind of “order”.

Along the way we often lose or second guess our internal cues (intuition being one of them) and fall victim to the noise around us. When we ask ourselves if this makes sense, what is rational or logical about this we often forget to ask ourselves, what am I feeling? What values do I hold, what feels right for me? If things don’t align or make sense but that “feeling” is strong, go with that feeling. It is ok to stop and listen to what you are feeling. Sounds strange right? to listen to what you are feeling. Paying attention to our body and our feelings is the first step to tuning into our intuition. When you are ready to develop your intuitive muscle, be patient and kind to yourself and as I share with clients, always at your own pace.

Some ways to develop and nurture your intuition:

Silencing the noise: allow yourself the opportunity to find a quiet place where you can relax, practice mediation, deep breathing and/or sit in silence for a few minutes (this may feel uncomfortable. Do it anyway). This will help calm your mind and help you to hear your intuition. What does it tell you?

Feel your feels. Pay attention: Our intuition speaks to us through feelings, gut instinct and/or sensations. What are your feelings in certain situations? when you need to make a decision and when you are around people? Being curious and observing how you feel will help you become more in tune with your intuition.

Trust yourself: I often share with clients that they know themselves best. There is an inner wisdom that we all possess and to never dismiss these instincts. They are not coincidental or irrational. Just because we cannot rationalise everything, make sense of everything we feel, does not mean we shouldn’t trust it.

Practice of presence: Mindfulness exercises and the practice of presence can truly support your intuitive development. Being present is difficult to practice as we know. Our minds are often busied with thoughts about the past or worries about the future (our oldest friend as we know as anxiety). Mindfulness can sharpen our awareness and sensitivity to subtle cues of our intuition that are often quieted.

Body awareness: What is your body telling you? Intuition shows up through bodily sensations. Pay attention to when your body is feeling relaxed, tense or uncomfortable in areas such as your stomach or chest. These cues can guide you towards the right decision or what course of action you need to take.

Write down your experiences: keeping an intuition journal can help remind you of your inner wisdom and knowing when you can’t necessarily make sense of them. Tracking your intuitive patterns can help you gain a deeper understanding of how your intuition works. (it reassures me that I haven’t entirely lost all my marbles!)

Neuroplasticity (intuitive exercises to change our brain): We have the opportunity as human beings to change and strengthen our brain’s neurotransmitters and neural pathways. We can do this through engaging in new activities, stimulating our brain through creative expression, guided visualizations, being curious and nurturing a growth mindset. This can help build confidence and in turn, tuning in to our inner guide.

Don’t be afraid to be on your own for a while: We are not built to be alone and feel comfortable or safe on our own as human beings. However sometimes it is important to seek solitude to access your inner self without external distractions and influences. Doing this will strengthen your connection to self and to your intuition.

Take action (the risky part): Follow your intuition. When you receive intuitive insights let them guide you even when it feels awkward and uncomfortable. It doesn’t always make logical sense and that’s ok.

Learn and Celebrate: Reflect on your process when you allow your intuitive insights to guide you. What has been the outcome? How do you feel? Reflective practice helps to consolidate our experiences and provides a positive feedback loop. This not only strengthens our intuition but also our confidence to continue to follow it. And as I share with clients…CELEBRATE this experience.

Trusting your intuition:

Your intuition doesn’t tell you what to do nor is it foolproof, however it can guide you to new opportunities that you may have never thought to consider. Sifting through genuine intuition and impulsive emotions (i.e. having an intense urge to connect with an ex-partner!) is important to learn and requires patience, self compassion, and self awareness.

Our experiences are often muddled with our fears, judgments, wishes and we are receiving massive amounts of information, so we need to take time to sort them out. Our gut feelings feel the most intense when aligned with our core values, with these experiences it is important to balance between instincts and reason. Seeking inner guidance through your own Q&A session is often helpful. Asking yourself questions such as, “What is this hunch about for me (in my body and my mind)?” “What may I be missing?”, “can I connect with someone who has had similar experiences and ask for their observations?”.

Trusting and following our intuition is accompanied with a tremendous sense of responsibility and accountability in our own lives. To reap the benefits or to suffer the consequences of these actions can feel unsettling especially when it is not backed up by a pros and cons list and infallible outcomes based on factual reasoning and logic. Well, this is how we convince ourselves right? I often describe this as a disillusionment of control. This also plays a factor as to why we don’t do the thing we innately know to do. Maybe it’s just too much of a risk when we don’t have the guarantees? This makes logical sense, and it is terrifying.

We rely greatly on logic and reason as a society often dismissing our innate wisdom as human beings. It is essential however to trust ourselves in making decisions for our own lives and require a tremendous amount of courage. To make life decisions based on a hunch, not comparing to others, not listening to others, not being influenced by external factors might be considered as outrageous or maybe the most courageous way to live one’s life. Most successful people often speak of following their intuitive instincts and taking chances and risks and often dancing away to their own tune.

Are you reading to become your own intuitive expert? If you are ready, first know that you have access to it and can hone and nurture your intuition. Next, practice the guidance that resonates the most to you at your own pace. Pause, breathe & remember, your intuition is the one thing that never lets you down.

Authored: Kavita Patel co-founder of Relearning Human.

For support, connect with our Relearning Human therapists.

Your Intuition: Trusting Your Gut When Thinking Isn’t Enough

The Self

RELEARNING
HUMAN

Do the work

partners in care

The Relearning Blog

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom” – Viktor Frankl.

RELEARNING
HUMAN

Do the work

RELEARNINGHUMAN

Do the work

partners in care

The Relearning Blog

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom” – Viktor Frankl.

RELEARNINGHUMAN

Do the work

RELEARNING
HUMAN

RELEARNING
HUMAN